World of Infertility-Long!

I am a bit bored right now since I have a few spare momets to myself so I figured I would try to do a quick write up about myself to give everyone an idea of my struggles in life.

I had Jenna when I was 21 and getting married. She was a complete shock to Marc and I because I was alway told that since I never got my "womanly cycle", I would have a hard time conceiving. Low and behold we were blessed with our first miracle. After a few years past and Jenna started getting older, we decided to try for another but again, figured it was near to impossible without help. My doctor agreed and said that Jenna was a miracle and we were better off winning the lottery..so their starts my journey into The World of Infertility.

I had high hopes going in and thought boy this will be easy, pop a few Clomid and I will be pregnant..HA! Month after month, dissapointment after dissapointment lead me into a longing for another child. If anyone has dealt with infertility they know that it consumes your every thought. Every store you walk into, a pregnant lady walks by, or a stroller with a cute little infant glides by and all you can think is why not me? Well after years of nothing, I had enough. Our insurance wouldn't cover treatments because for some strange reason, they don't look at this as a medical problem..go figure? I think I can easily figure out the reason for that! (more pregnancies..more kids..equals..more bills for them to pay!

As the years passed and no baby, I started to give up. Until one day a woman on a talk show explained that she treated herself with fertility meds and was able to have 2 children on her own. Boy how brave of this woman, I thought. Then my brain switched into survival mode. "Hey if she could do this, why couldn't I?" It felt like everything fell right into my lap from that point on. A friend of mine was donating eggs and her cycle fell short so she had extra fertility meds left. After talking to her about my struggles, she offered for a minimal amount to graciously give sell me what she had, needles and all! Thanks to the Internet I was able to get one last medication I needed as well and off we go.

It was the beginning of summer and here I was bravely injecting myself with medication, not knowing what I was doing to my body. I did a lot of research and jotted down what dosage I thought would be right for me etc. In less than 5 weeks and many scary pokes from big needles..I was pregnant! I couldn't believe it..it worked. I spent a total of $140 and it worked! Next comes the denial phase. "What the heck did I just do?" "I wonder how many babies are in there?" Let me tell you I had a week and half of panic until I could get my ultrasound! (keep in mind, my OB/GYN had no idea that these were injectable meds I was using, he thought it was just clomid).

The day finally came and as I lay on that table shaking, every thought imaginable went through my mind. He inserts the wand and up pops my big blob of a fuzzy uterus. Oh my gosh, I see a whole bunch! I couldn't stop staring at the screen trying to count the 20 babies I thought were in there! He starts to point saying "this is your this, and this is your that"..come on already! I wanted to scream.."how many?"

Then it appeared, that amazing little fluttering thing. I knew instantly what it was. My ONE baby had a heartbeat. I felt like I was stronger than life itself, like I could conquer the world with those tiny little flutters. Doctor agreed that their was only one and booted us out to schedule our first prenatal appt.

On February 24, 2008, I delivered my 6 lb. 9 oz. baby boy, Kane Alexander. He has been a blessing to our family and a miracle in itself. I must add a word from our sponsors and say that self medicating isn't always the way to go.. but it worked for me! If I wouldn't have done this I can honestly say that my little man would have never seen the light of day, just the darkness of my ovaries! I hope you enjoyed the honesty of my blog today, and now can understand why I SPOIL my children each and every day!